I was floored when I read his text. At first, I thought it was encouragement. But the more I read it, the more I realized—it wasn’t support at all. It was a perfectly polished example of how women are silenced every single day, often by the people closest to us.
Here’s what he wrote:
Your last few videos are dragging you down. Block the idiots, move on. You’re better than this. You’re a mom, a grandmother, a homeowner. You have the tools for greatness, stop lending them out, and stop renting space in your head to the enemies. You are a loving, caring person with so much happiness to give and help yourself and others with. Climb out of the cesspool, get a hot bath, put your head up, and show the world the strength of (my name).
Sounds kind, doesn’t it? It’s almost inspiring. But when you read it through a feminist lens, the real message is clear: be quiet. Don’t resist. Don’t call out oppression. Don’t upset anyone. To be clear, he was talking about my “decenter men” tiktok videos. They must’ve struck a chord.
The Psychological Trap of “Nice” Silencing
This is where patriarchy hides best—in “friendly” advice. Women are told to take a bath, cheer up, be softer, and ignore injustice. These words don’t look violent, but they serve the same purpose as outright dismissal. They protect the comfort of men while suffocating the voices of women.
This is what psychologists call gaslighting with concern. You’re made to feel like the problem isn’t the sexism you’re calling out—it’s your reaction to it. It tricks you into silence.
Why Silence Serves Patriarchy
Here’s the truth: women’s voices have always been a threat. That’s why women were burned at the stake. That’s why women writers used pen names. That’s why every generation invents new ways to tell us to hush.
Silence protects the system. Speaking breaks it.
My Confession: I Almost Believed Him
When I first read his message, I felt myself shrinking. Maybe he’s right. Maybe I should tone it down. Maybe I’m too angry.
But then I caught it. That’s the trap. The very fact that my voice provoked this kind of response means my words are powerful. My videos struck a nerve. If women’s words were harmless, no one would ever bother trying to shut us up.
The Shocking Truth Most Women Don’t Realize
Here’s what most of us don’t see right away: “encouragement” like this isn’t about us at all. It’s about maintaining order. It’s about reminding women of our “roles”—mom, grandmother, homeowner. Respectable. Contained. Silent.
But patriarchy doesn’t crumble because women behave. It crumbles because women refuse to.
Empowerment: Why We Need to Speak Anyway
Yes, speaking up will make people uncomfortable. Yes, it will cost us relationships. Yes, it will bring pushback—even from friends. But discomfort is the price of dismantling oppression.
Think about it:
Silence never liberated us. Speech did.
Call to Action
- If women before us had stayed quiet, we wouldn’t vote.
- If women before us had stayed quiet, we wouldn’t work.
- If women before us had stayed quiet, we wouldn’t own property.
So the next time someone tells you to tone it down, “rise above,” or be “strong in silence”—don’t. Let that be your cue to turn the volume up.
Because the world doesn’t need quieter women. It needs women who are unapologetic, disruptive, and unafraid to rattle the cages patriarchy built for us.
Wearing Our Words: Why My Shirts Matter
One of the reasons I started Eve’s Apple™ was because I realized something: silence has always been stitched into women’s clothing. For centuries, what we wear has been used to signal submission, modesty, or compliance. But what if clothing could do the opposite? What if what you put on your body wasn’t about shrinking but about speaking?
That’s why my shirts are bold. They aren’t just fabric—they are protest, conversation starters, and armor. When you wear a tee that says “Wives, do not submit. REVOLT!” or “He’s not my head. I wear the crown,” you are speaking before you ever open your mouth. You’re reminding everyone around you that women will not be silenced, not in church pews, not in kitchens, not online, and not in the streets.
Wearing these designs is its own form of resistance. It’s how we say: I’m not toning it down. I’m not staying quiet. I’m not letting patriarchy tell my story. My shirts are for women who refuse to be hushed. For women who want their very presence to dismantle lies we’ve been fed for centuries.
So the next time someone tells you to be quiet, take a bath, or “rise above,” remember—you can also put on your truth, wear it across your chest, and let the world read it out loud.
Your turn: What’s the last thing someone told you not to say? Post it. Speak it. Write it. Share it. Especially share it with me in the comments below.
Show your goddess ancestry! Get ‘Like Mother, Like Daughter‘ Tee by Eve’s Apple for 15% off!
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