I’ve realized religion set me up for toxic relationships long before I ever dated anyone. A “relationship with God” isn’t like any healthy human connection — it’s often one-sided, built on mystery instead of mutual understanding.
In real relationships, trust grows through shared experiences, open communication, and consistent presence. But with God, you’re told to stay devoted to someone silent, invisible, and unknowable. Loyalty is demanded without reciprocity. You’re asked to believe without seeing, trust without answers, and love without proof.
In any other relationship, those would be red flags. In religion, they’re called faith.
And because I learned to love without reciprocity, I stayed in an 18-year relationship where my loyalty was never matched, my needs never fully met, and my worth was measured only by how much I could endure.
The Conditioning of “Faith”
Religion didn’t just give me a belief system — it trained my emotional reflexes. It taught me that love means giving endlessly, even when nothing comes back. That silence is holy. That absence is a test of my devotion.
- Blind loyalty as virtue: I was told that staying faithful no matter what proved my worthiness.
- Silence as a test of patience: Waiting for an answer — that never came — was framed as strength.
- Suffering as spiritual growth: The more you endured without complaint, the more “godly” you were.
When that’s the foundation, you start to see these dynamics as normal. You stop expecting the reciprocity, proof, or consistency you’d demand from any other relationship.
The Parallels to My Relationship
When I entered my long-term relationship, I didn’t realize I was walking into a familiar script.
- Silent God → Silent partner: Just as I’d learned to pray into a void, I found myself talking to someone who rarely listened and even rarely responded.
- Unanswered prayers → Ignored needs: My needs were minimized or dismissed, and I told myself I just needed to “have faith” things would get better.
- Unconditional devotion → Self-erasure: My loyalty became a badge of honor, even as I lost myself trying to earn his.
It wasn’t love. It was the only template for “love” I’d ever been taught.
The Feminist Lens
Looking back, I see how this wasn’t just personal — it was systemic. Religion and patriarchy work hand in hand, conditioning women to accept less and give more.
- Women are taught that serving is holy
- Submission is called a virtue.
- Forgiving without limits is called grace.
In both systems, imbalance is framed as “natural” or “ordained.” If you question it, you’re told you’re rebellious, sinful, or “not doing your part.” It’s the perfect setup for exploitation — whether by a god, a man, or both.
Breaking the Pattern
Recognizing the conditioning was the first step. Breaking it took longer.
I had to unlearn that love without reciprocity is somehow noble. I had to accept that trust needs truth, that devotion needs presence, and that my worth isn’t proven by endurance.
Now, I measure relationships — all of them — by mutual respect, consistent care, and actual reciprocity. I refuse to pour into someone who treats me like a bottomless well.
The Eve’s Apple™ Connection
Eve’s Apple™ is my way of undoing the lies I was taught. Every design I create is a reminder that women deserve better than silence, absence, and conditional love.
We deserve love with proof.
Trust with honesty.
Faith in ourselves above all.
I don’t serve silent gods or silent men anymore.
If you’ve ever been taught to love without reciprocity, you’re not alone. Share this with someone who needs to hear it — and remember, you can wear your truth.
Eve's Apple 
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